Partytalk

To the pawn, violently heartbroken,

I’ve put myself on a bit of a tight rope

She looked to me and declared herself destructively high/and,

if thats the case? 

im combatively so

We ran, heard conspicuous screams, wondered about America and I marveled at our kaliedesopic differences

Ive spent too much time in mosh pit cities and Im used to ignoring the sounds of passing planes, 

but you didn’t like them after the third that went by

I argued for the cinematics of it all, straight lines left on our watercolor sky

You laughed and shook your head, citing pollution

Thats a sound I dont wanna hear again sober

And she keeps telling me that I’d better watch out, shes a bit of a tweaker

And that I’ll know that when I know her

And considering I heard the same story four times over on the tennis courts the other night, I just smile and take another shot 

itll be an interesting experiment

Ohhhhh ha ha youre a moderate alcoholic? So’s his mom

I popped some before I got here but they havent hit and I know they wont so better start drinking

And even though she didn’t ask me to buy my own shit, she asked me to stop using hers

So I’ve been gambling, trading handles and life stories for a lousy sesh

Film references and eye contact for a ride in a grey jeep, clouded windows and leather seats/we’re listening to frank ocean a little later, its chanel- u know the hook is the best part 

“Its really u on my mind” I roll the window back up

Nothing feels much like a rebellion, its lost its magic

I miss ducking down, staying in/because Im holding my head too high, it hurts more often

Lately I’ve been dreaming back to decisions and making the right one, 

Been waking up feeling decieved

Wondering how Im still walking, overrehearsed, open but moderately awkward, empty and doing just! fine!

Lost my id, getting in on courtesy

Sorry to be so open, don’t do this normally

Visions getting spinny now, yea man fuck its harder to see

Were you the one that opened the door?

Or the one that left with me?

And she looks up, apologising for being so impartial, I hate making decisions

When you’re comfortably on the asphault its a bit hard to get up, a bit hard to stand. Harder still if you’re not sure if your legs still work, worse if you can’t remember how to work them

Here, give me your hand.